


Fireflies

by Akiko_kitsune



Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Platonic Romance, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 11:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15971678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_kitsune/pseuds/Akiko_kitsune
Summary: Restless during a warm summer night, the student and the teacher talked about what was bothering them lately. Shouyou didn't expect that in fact, he was his student biggest problem.





	Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> It took 2 months to finish it, even though I wrote nearly the whole thing in like one evening. It wouldn't be done without museaway who convinced me to write this, even if she doesn't know Gintama, and without Selyann who beta read it and as always supported me in writing about our best boys.
> 
> So, I guess let's enjoy that Gintama is not ending this week.

“Will you ever stop sneaking out at night?”

Shouyou didn’t mean Shinsuke in particular. All his students were always straying. Their teacher was restless, too. Everyone was still looking for their way to spend their life. Even him.

“It’s late, go get some sleep.” He looked gently at his student, who kept his gaze low. It was so unusual for him to keep eyes down and stay quiet. It immediately caught Shouyou’s attention. What happened to his brave boy? “Is everything alright?” he asked, keeping his voice honey-like.

“I don’t know.” Shinsuke looked away. “I couldn’t sleep.”

You’re still no good at lying, at least at lying to me, Shouyou thought, coming closer to him. The boy knew well what was bothering him, he'd just chosen not to talk about it. Maybe he wanted to face it alone or he felt ashamed. Whatever it was, Shouyou wanted to do everything to reassure him that he could confide anything to him.

Shouyou sat next to him. He didn't want to push him into talking, but maybe a bit of playing around would help him open up.

"On nights like this, we can’t help but let our minds wander, can we?"

"Maybe... Sensei, is there something bothering you too?"

Shouyou looked at his student, a little surprised. He should know better than to enter this little game. Shinsuke was smart and turning the situation around to his advantage wasn't a challenge for him. However, Shouyou didn't back out: “Indeed, there is one thing...”

On a calm summer night like this one, Shouyou couldn’t help but think about the one person who had helped him change his life. Without him, none of what he had would be possible.

“What is it?”

“My first student...”

“You’ve never mentioned him before. What’s happened to him?”

“He died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I saw many people die, but somehow, I miss him...” He looked at his student. “I want you to meet him, yet you never will...”

A firefly sat on his hand. Shouyou didn’t try to shake it off. He let it wander. Shinsuke watched, enchanted by how the bug walked along his finger and then flew away again.

Shouyou looked at his most cherished student and smiled. “You’ve chosen a beautiful night to stay awake. It would truly be a shame to sleep through it... Shall we go for a walk?”

Shouyou needed only smile like this to make Shinsuke do anything he wanted. He always followed his teacher's back. Without a question, without hesitation. But as he walked after him, there were some thoughts that were bothering him.

Shinsuke wanted to touch him. Just reach out his hand and grab him. He knew it was too childish. But he really wanted to get a bit closer, to be with him a bit longer. It was so embarrassing for him that he buried it deep within his heart and didn’t let it show. Still, he couldn’t help thinking about it. It was something so new to him. He was curious what those feelings were and why they were haunting him every day. He didn’t know that that way he made them only grow stronger. Now, they were on the verge of bursting out. He had to push them deeper inside.

They walked along a forest path. Shouyou seemed to know it well, so Shinsuke didn't pay much attention to it. If he did, he would see all those fireflies circling around and looking for each other.

He had already found what he’d been looking for and his eyes were blind to everything else in this world.

“This shrine resembles the one in your village a little, right?” Shouyou spoke up.

Shinsuke turned his gaze to see what his teacher was referring to.

Indeed it looked similar. This one looked like it was abandoned. Maybe it wasn’t and it was only the night in the forest that gave the impression that people rarely visited it. The one in his village was usually empty, but anyone could notice that people took care of it. It was simply that no one spent more time there unless they were looking for him. He could sit there for hours, not bothered by anyone. It was his best hideout.

“You knew about it, sensei?”

“I noticed it a few days ago. I thought it may help you settle in a new place. But if you ever change your mind and –”

“No. I don’t want to go back there,” he said forcefully.

“You won’t go back on your decision? That’s okay. You can stay here as long as you want to.”

Shinsuke nodded. He had calmed down. He even spoke up again. “I would stay at that shrine when I skipped class or when I ran away from home.”

“Did you often run away from home?”

“I argued with my father a lot. But afterwards, I didn’t really have a place to go, so I always went to that shrine.”

If this boy’s father had at least half of his stubbornness, then the arguments had surely been a daily occurrence. Especially when Shouyou and Gintoki showed up in their village. The boys would fight everyday, and every day Shinsuke would come home injured. It probably got him into a lot of trouble. Yet he had never stopped coming to them. They had become that important in his life.

“I know sometimes you may want to be alone, but don’t close yourself off. People may be noisy and silly, but it’s good to let go sometimes and just fool around. You can come here with Kotaro or Gintoki. You have friends here.” Shouyou ruffled his student's hair. “No one wants to be really alone.”

“Even you, sensei?” Shinsuke observed him attentively.

Shouyou smiled after a moment of surprise. “Even me.”

“So you want me to stay?”

“You can stay as long as you wish. I can’t deny that it makes me happy to have some company.”

Shinsuke didn’t want to follow him anymore, he wanted to walk beside him. Be stronger to help him against the world, be more knowledgeable to advise him, be a better person to be worthy of him. It was his idea of being a samurai. Maybe he should aim higher or think more about it, but it really was everything he wanted. He couldn’t imagine another way for himself.

Shouyou noticed his student’s fierce gaze. “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Let me stay by your side. Even if you decide that there is nothing more you could teach me. I could help you run the school or... Or anything... I’ll do anything.”

“Okay. You can stay. I’ve told you this many times now...”

“I love you.”

Those words slipped out without a warning. Shouyou felt like he might have misheard. He hadn’t expected that. Yet he had clearly heard them, and he could also clearly see Shinsuke turn red and bite his lip.

Shouyou smiled gently. “Shinsuke, I’m honored that you harbour such strong feelings for me, however...”

“You want me to give it up?”

“It won’t do you any good. I... I will only bring you down.”

“So?”

“Shinsuke... You deserve more than this.”

“I’m only a good-for-nothing brat. I don’t have any ambitions or plans. I just want to stay by your side... Feelings tend to be complicated, don’t they?”

“You’re too smart. Shinsuke, you deserve the best...”

“So I’m taking it - I’m taking you.”

“Oh, you’re taking me?” Shouyou couldn’t help teasing the boy a little.

“Yes.”

“So I can’t help it?”

Shinsuke hesitated.

Shouyou spoke again with a smile, still playing with him. “And what do you want to do when you have me?”

“I would kiss you.”

Maybe he was taking it too far, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Oh, you would kiss me?”

“I will.”

“You will?” 

Shinsuke hesitated again. It was time to stop. They hadn’t done anything bad and it should stay this way. “Let’s go back, we should both get some sleep.”

Shinsuke didn’t move. He looked at Shouyou and asked: “Can I kiss you?”

So he truly wanted to take it further. Shouyou knew this boy wouldn’t change his mind easily, but it wasn't the greatest idea...

Shinsuke spoke up again: “I won’t speak of it anymore if you really don’t want it. I really won’t bring it up again. I won’t bother you. Just...”

“You can.”

Shinsuke came closer. A bit embarrassed, a bit fierce like he was going to fight for something. Shouyou couldn’t help smiling.

The boy kissed him. Gently, unsurely. After all, it was his first kiss.

They shouldn’t have done it. Now, both of them ended up wanting more.

“It’s late. We should head back and get some sleep.”

This time Shinsuke lowered his head and listened to his teacher's words. They walked back along some path surrounded by soft buzzing of the fireflies.

“I get so childish around you,” Shinsuke said, still keeping his gaze away.

“Don’t worry. I was teasing you.” Shouyou slowed down so they could walk next to each other.

“I’m in love with you. Really.”

Shouyou could have said that he didn’t return the feelings so the boy should give up. But no one would believe such an obvious lie.

Both of them had become terrible liars.

Shouyou could hope that one day this boy would change his mind. That would be better for him. And yet, even if Shouyou acted cold on the surface, he couldn’t fool himself. He wanted to have this boy by his side. His strong, proud boy.

“It’s alright to be childish at times. You’re still young.”

“But...” He finally raised his eyes. He was proud and brave, so this fierce gaze suited him more than lowering his head.

“It’s okay. You will grow up eventually. And then we'll see.” Shouyou stroked Shinsuke’s hair. “I'll look forward to running the school with you.”

The boy stopped and looked at him, surprised. Shouyou smiled gently. "You thought I didn't believe you?"

Shinsuke nodded slowly.

"Don't rush things. We'll see how it will turn out. For now, let's go back and sleep a bit."

"Can I kiss you again? Before we come back?"

"You can."

Maybe he was spoiling him too much, but at that moment he didn't mind doing it. Shinsuke was his most precious student, after all. He would give him anything.

"You really chose a beautiful night," Shouyou repeated.

The fireflies were still circling around the forest looking for their other halves. Shinsuke and Shouyou didn't have to look for anything. They had already found each other.


End file.
